Modern English, Microsoft Word Version

A few years ago, my eldest daughter came home from school with a mediocre grade on a paper she'd written for English class. Before she had submitted it, she had asked me to read it. So I took some personal offense to the grade she received and questioned what kind of scale her teacher was using for the work of a fourteen-year-old. Of course, I asked to see the teacher's comments.

Not long into the read, I looked up, commenting, "This is not the draft I read."

"I ran the spelling and grammar check on it before I printed out the final version."

"That was your mistake."

She seemed surprised.

I explained, "I'm not sure how accurate Microsoft Word is with its suggestions, but if you rely on it you will make many mistakes."

"But it's a program everyone uses."

"Not everyone. It's designed for business use. The majority of people who use it for business need help with spelling and have trouble enough with writing in complete sentences. I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to grammar, but, whenever I am certain I'm right, I ignore its suggestions."

"How can they get away with that?"

"I doubt most people complain. If someone does maybe it is updated in the program at some point." I went on to show her that in every case her teacher was correct. She missed a couple of things as well.

"I'm going to send this to Microsoft!"

"I think you should. You see, the person whose grammar you are relying on writes computer programs. So your grammar is only as good as the computer programmer's education in English."

"Well, because I paid attention to them, I got a C+."

"I'll see your teacher about it. I don't think it's fair, but now you know better."

The following day, I stopped by the school on my way to work. Although my discussion with her teacher was brief, it was enlightening for us both. She told me that she was surprised with my daughter's mistakes. "Her grammar is usually very good."

"She's been taking Latin, as you probably know. Her teacher stresses proper grammar in their translations."

"She's told me. That's why I was surprised. What you say makes a lot of sense. I've wondered why I can teach something and the very next day the students turn in papers with a common mistake I have just taught."

"I guess someday there will be a new version of modern English called 'Microsoft'."

"Let's hope not!"