Becoming The Moron In Oxymoron - Humorous

'Seriously funny' were the words used to describe a presentation I delivered when I was in college. Of course, I understood what the spontaneous critic meant, despite the oxymoron. I took it as a compliment.

It's true. Sometimes, I play the fool. I know that people may think I am really that way, a complete moron. But what difference does it make? I have fun whenever I can.

I'm not a comedian. I don't think I'm naturally funny. Occasionally, I see the irony in situations, though. Sometimes there is humor clinging on for the ride. If you flip the irony over, like the slime clinging to the bottom of a rock, you will find some humor. There are few serious situations that are without irony. I'm convinced irony is the mysterious invisible force that holds the universe together. So, there is a good deal of humor available, even if you have to dig a little to find it. And if you can't find anything to laugh about, make something up. Be creative!

Why do I look for irony and humor? No one else I know seems to be doing it. If they were, I'd gladly sit back to listen and watch someone else playing the fool. Some things just need to be done, though. Without levity in life, what we have is the same old conditional gravity that makes the world a cold, emotionally starved place. Life is desperately difficult for most of us. Lighten someone's day, lessen the load and make them chuckle. What does it cost? What can it hurt?

Say something unexpected and completely off subject. See another's eyes twinkle as they realize you've just temporarily eased their burdens. Try it out. Do it even if you have to resort to a little event shaping. Help someone to laugh and make the drudgery of the day go by a little faster.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. I have a friend who plays golf every weekend. Let's call him Lance. That's not his real name but I won't tell if you don't. Sometimes when the weather is nice he kicks out of work an hour or so early. He forwards all his calls to his cell phone, just in case there is a sudden outbreak of work demanding his personal attention. On his way home from the office, he takes in a quick nine holes. Yeah, he has the golf addiction.

Now, Lance knows I have never been a golfer. Over the years, Lance has often offered to teach me the game. That would certainly be an ego trip for Lance. He often brags that he could have gone pro. He has a low handicap. If it weren't for work, he could have made a living at it, eventually.

It takes a lot of faith to pursue a dream. It is walking across the economic tightrope of reality without a safety net.

A while back, Lance took some grief from his wife. He bought a new set of professional quality clubs. He tried to sell his old clubs in advance of the purchase to help offset some of the expense, but no one was interested in paying the price he asked. As you can imagine, his old clubs were pretty good. He took very good care of them. They were probably worth more than the bargain hunters were willing to pay. Then again, I am no expert.

Finally, he decided not to sell them and used the excuse of saving them for his boy, which sort-of - temporarily - got him out of the proverbial doghouse and back in the living room, even if it was only to sleep on the couch. At the time, his son was five years old and at least eight years away from using adult clubs. So yes, the excuse was a bit of a stretch.

I have to hand it to him, though, awarding extra points for quick thinking.

Note the genius of the concept Lance employed. He instinctively used an ages old male survival technique. If a man ever does anything selfish and/or childish while married, he needs to make it look like he did it for completely unselfish reasons.

Using the kid was brilliant. I must warn you, though. What he did will not work a hundred percent of the time. Still, it may lessen the severity and duration of the solitary treatment. It may garner a blanket for sleeping downstairs. Then, after a night spent alone in the living room, buying some flowers, taking the wife out for a night of dancing or cooking dinner for her - whatever seems to work best - will re-establish some harmony in the marital universe.

Just don't overwork this technique. It wears thin quickly. With some wives, it may work only once.

Anyway, knowing that Lance had an extra set of clubs, I called him up and asked if I could borrow them.

"What for? I thought you said putt-putt was challenge enough for you."

"Hey, hey. Can you negotiate that windmill, really?"

Lance chuckled. "Seriously, you are going to play golf with someone?"

"I am going to the amusement center to play a round of putt-putt."

"Why do you need a set of clubs? They have their own putters."

"Look, Lance, I'm serious. I want to walk up to the booth and ask for a caddy."

Lance laughed for several moments. "God, I would love to see you do that."

"Then come along, hide and savor the moment."

"I can't. I got the kid thing tonight. It's the wife's night out."

"Well, you're going to miss a memorable event, as long as I can use your old clubs?"

"Yeah sure, just bring 'em back whenever. They belong to the boy, you know."

A few days prior to that, I had gone to play putt-putt with my wife and three kids. It was a special family night out and fun for all. I pretended to let my wife beat me. Really, she was playing better than me. But you understand. It's a male ego thing. My son suggested that I was letting Mom beat me. Immediately, I seized the concept. "Now, why would I want to do that?"

On the way out, we had to wait for the attendant to get a very unprofessional and completely public bawling-out from his supervisor about something inane. I don't care what someone does; it never deserves public embarrassment.

I decided that on my next day off, I was going to give the kid a laughable memory. I really did walk up to the counter with a bag of golf clubs and ask for a caddy.

I'll bet he still remembers.